Category: Humor

New Education Initiative Replaces K-12 Curriculum With Single Standardized Test

As the season of high-stakes testing hits America once again, we have one choice: cry or laugh.

The new test will reportedly cover all topics formerly taught in K-12 classrooms, including algebra, World War I, cursive penmanship, pre-algebra, state capitals, biology, letters of the alphabet, environmental science, civics, French, Newtonian mechanics, parts of speech, and the Cold War. Sources said students will also be expected to demonstrate their knowledge of 19th-century American pioneer life, photosynthesis, and telling time.

Officials said the initiative would also focus on improving teacher performance by tying teachers’ salaries to the test scores of the students they hand the assessment to.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/new-education-initiative-replaces-k12-curriculum-w,38048/?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_campaign=LinkPreview:1:Default

Laverne and Shirley

In class one morning, I was quickly counting out the number of digits of a decimal expansion that was on the board: “One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.” Struck by sudden inspiration, I continued, “Sclemeel, schlemazel, hasenfeffer incorporated.”

Sadly, only one student (unsurprisingly, a non-traditional student) laughed. It took me a minute to realize that not only are my college students too young to remember “Laverne and Shirley,” they’re also too young to remember when Wayne and Garth paid homage to “Laverne and Shirley” in their 1992 movie.

Schoolhouse Rock and Calculus

After presenting the Fundamental Theorem of Calculus to my calculus students, I make a point of doing the following example in class:

\displaystyle \int_0^4 \frac{1}{4} x^2 \, dx

Hopefully my students are able to produce the correct answer:

\displaystyle \int_0^4 \frac{1}{4} x^2 \, dx = \displaystyle \left[ \frac{x^3}{12} \right]^4_0

= \displaystyle \frac{(4)^3}{12} - \frac{(0)^3}{12}

= \displaystyle \frac{64}{12}

= \displaystyle \frac{16}{3}

Then I tell my students that they’ve probably known the solution of this one since they were kids… and I show them the classic video “Unpack Your Adjectives” from Schoolhouse Rock. They’ll watch this video with no small amount of confusion (“How is this possibly connected to calculus?”)… until I reach the 1:15 mark of the video below, when I’ll pause and discuss this children’s cartoon. This never fails to get an enthusiastic response from my students.

If you have no idea what I’m talking about, be sure to watch the first 75 seconds of the video below. I think you’ll be amused.